Until recently, there has never been a time in my life when I wasn’t “talking” to a guy. It’s not the issue that I needed validation from the male species, I just thought it was fun. It kept me entertained and my life semi-interesting. I’ve never been in love, but I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to be in love. I’ve dreamed about how it would feel, and what he would look like. Basically I just wanted to know how it would feel to be with someone who truly wanted to be with me.
Looking back I've noticed that I would often try to push my ideas of love onto whomever I was with at the time, even though they were not the person I was destined to be with. And through the process of weeding out those that did not belong I lost pieces of my heart. Now I’m not implying that I still have feelings for these individuals because, let’s be real, I do not. But they did take a piece of my heart when they left.
How can this be if I wasn’t in love with them? Well it’s simple. When I do something, I do it with all of my heart. So when someone doesn’t treat me the way I deserve or tells me “I’ll never be in love with you,” “I don’t want to date you,” or “you’re not worth my time (edited version)” it hurts, and those words linger. I have wounds, a lot of them, and these wounds have not healed. The wounds are healing slowly, but they’re still there and they hurt from time to time. My heart isn’t whole.
When your heart isn’t whole, how do you expect to give it to someone who deserves it? You can’t. My future husband DESERVES EVERY SINGLE INCH of my heart. So I as a woman of Christ need to work on making my heart whole so that my future spouse may be blessed with the wonderful gift of having me completely. Ladies, God is the only one who can heal your wounds and He wants you to reach out for Him. In Psalm 147:3 He promises to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. Give all of your worries and frustrations to Him and He will heal you.
So often individuals try to heal their wounds by supplementing the feeling of hurt or rejection with another individual. I challenge all of you who have wounds from past relationships to work on healing those wounds so that you may give your future spouse the best version of yourself. You may have a few scars, but that just means the wounds have healed and you have made it through your hardship.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You
Classy, sassy, but oh so sweet!