Ah! It’s been forever and a day since I’ve written, gosh the time just flies by and before you know it three months have passed. Life has been so busy. Having two jobs while applying for jobs out-of-state can take up a lot of time.
Ya know, I feel as if I’m always rushing: I need to get this project done, do the dishes, redesign my resume, help with dinner, do the laundry, reply to this text message, research companies in Atlanta, fill out an application, send an email, reconnect with this person…. the list continues.
I recently received a wakeup call.
Last Sunday, as I was sitting in church I began to feel frustrated because mass lasted so long. I thought to myself “Gosh I have so much to do today, I do not have time for this.” The items on my ‘to do list’ flooded my mind, I was struggling with praying and worrying. As I tried to focus on the Lord the anxiousness of the upcoming week overlapped my desire for prayer.
I was aggravated/worried/anxious when I should have been at peace.
Looking back on that situation it could not be clearer that the enemy was at work and I let him win. The truth is, every day, the enemy tries to distract you from your true purpose. Don’t let him win. If you are like me and sometimes let the busyness of daily life get in your way of finding peace just know that you are not alone.
Life is busy, especially as you grow older. Take the time to enjoy the season of life that you are experiencing. Enjoy the people who surround you and the opportunities you are given.
Sometimes finding time for prayer and reflection is more difficult than others, but just remember that God is always waiting for you with open arms. He wants so badly for you to turn to Him and give Him all of your worries because He can handle it. Don’t give up on God because He will never give up on you.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Until recently, there has never been a time in my life when I wasn’t “talking” to a guy. It’s not the issue that I needed validation from the male species, I just thought it was fun. It kept me entertained and my life semi-interesting. I’ve never been in love, but I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to be in love. I’ve dreamed about how it would feel, and what he would look like. Basically I just wanted to know how it would feel to be with someone who truly wanted to be with me.
Looking back I've noticed that I would often try to push my ideas of love onto whomever I was with at the time, even though they were not the person I was destined to be with. And through the process of weeding out those that did not belong I lost pieces of my heart. Now I’m not implying that I still have feelings for these individuals because, let’s be real, I do not. But they did take a piece of my heart when they left.
How can this be if I wasn’t in love with them? Well it’s simple. When I do something, I do it with all of my heart. So when someone doesn’t treat me the way I deserve or tells me “I’ll never be in love with you,” “I don’t want to date you,” or “you’re not worth my time (edited version)” it hurts, and those words linger. I have wounds, a lot of them, and these wounds have not healed. The wounds are healing slowly, but they’re still there and they hurt from time to time. My heart isn’t whole.
When your heart isn’t whole, how do you expect to give it to someone who deserves it? You can’t. My future husband DESERVES EVERY SINGLE INCH of my heart. So I as a woman of Christ need to work on making my heart whole so that my future spouse may be blessed with the wonderful gift of having me completely. Ladies, God is the only one who can heal your wounds and He wants you to reach out for Him. In Psalm 147:3 He promises to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. Give all of your worries and frustrations to Him and He will heal you.
So often individuals try to heal their wounds by supplementing the feeling of hurt or rejection with another individual. I challenge all of you who have wounds from past relationships to work on healing those wounds so that you may give your future spouse the best version of yourself. You may have a few scars, but that just means the wounds have healed and you have made it through your hardship.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You
Perfection does not exist. The goal of perfection only exists because we as humans have essentially created an idea of goal attainment and strive to be better than "good".
Perfection is not a natural state, meaning that humans/society create this idea of perfection. To describe something as "perfect" is to ultimately define what is not perfect-- creating a negative connotation to things that are not your idea of perfect. So there's perfect and then there's not perfect. This word "perfection" is ruining lives around the world because one cannot attain perfection. Why? Because like I said, perfection does not exist. It is only created by your idea of what it means to be perfect.
I cannot help but notice the common occurrence of social media users commenting on photos with #relationshipgoals, #perfection, #goals .. um what are your trying to achieve? The photos posted on the internet are not a refection of an individual's real life, but rather a portrayal of how they want you to view their life. Yes, I will admit it's always nice to have good photos on Instagram HOWEVER more than likely that photo was taken about 15+ times and edited to look a certain way.
Don't aim to be perfect, because perfection does not exist. Instead, strive to better yourself and begin discovering your talents. Will you be perfect? No. But you can always seek to a better person.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
You are human, and you will make mistakes. Sometimes you will say something you did not mean or do something you will immediately regret, but that's life. You cannot change the past, but you can make a new and brighter future. There may have been times when you were a lousy friend, rude girlfriend/boyfriend, disrespectful daughter/son or annoying sister/brother. Learning how to say "I'm sorry," does not make up for everything you have done in your past, but it does indicate a level of humility and a sign of moving forward.
I understand that an apology can take some time. Some apologies are better after you step back, let the steam subside, and reflect on what happened. Sometimes it takes a long time to apologize to another individual because you may think they have wronged you and they should be the one to apologize. Swallow your pride and apologize. Be the better person because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. Think about it, would you want the last conversation to be an argument? Apologizing after an argument does not indicate weakness, but rather it exemplifies a sense of maturity. We are not perfect individuals, but we are called to love one another.
Swallow your pride and apologize. If the other person does not apologize for their actions after receiving your apology, move on. Try not to dwell on the fact that you did not receive an apology. Life offers marvelous opportunities, do not dwell on the little things.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Situation: So let's say you are in your twenties and you have come to the realization that your group of good friends is becoming smaller. You may wonder if there is something wrong, but let me tell you that this is completely normal and a topic I have recently discussed with a few of my friends! Why is this a common occurrence? Well, after college you are getting settled in the real world and starting your own life. In college it was easy to make new friends and maintain existing friendships because there was a lot of free time and most of your friends lived close by! After college maintaining a friendship is no longer convenient, because you actually have to schedule a time to hang out. Working 40+ hours a week while handling other life situations can keep a person very busy! So, a decision must be made, either hit the gym after work or attempt to make/keep friends.
However, a dwindling group of friends is not always a bad thing, it just means you can focus on the people who add meaning to your life. Physical distance begins to show you who really cares, let me tell ya, distance does not break a true friendship. This is a time in your life when you need to be associating with people whose passions and goals are similar to your own. You begin to realize who has your best interest in mind and who does not. You don't want to be in a one-sided romantic relationship, correct? Well you shouldn't be in a one-sided friendship. This is a time to eliminate those who do not enhance your life in any way. If you have a friend that does not encourage you to be a better person, then that person does not need to be in your life. So what is a true friend?
A true friend will be proud of your accomplishments, not jealous.
A true friend will make time for you.
A true friend will tell you when it's time to move on. They do not want you to settle.
A true friend may be disappointed, but will never judge.
A true friend will listen to you complain and then tell you all of the positive things you are overlooking.
A true friend will uplift you, not belittle you.
A true friend will never try to "one up" you.
(The list can go on and on)
Treasure those who care about you and want the best for you. Just think about it... who is benefiting from a one-sided friendship? Downsizing isn't such a bad thing.
Be sassy. Be sweet. Be you.
Millennials are well aware of the meaning behind a picture being Insta’ Worthy, or if something has or has not been made Facebook Official. This society is immersed in the impact of tweets, favorites, double-taps, likes, shares, and followers.
We are consumed by this need to feel desired by those around us, so we turn to social media networks to satisfy this craving. Often times we attempt to appease the craving by posting something with hopes it will get a high number of shares/likes/favorites, while it may fill the void for the time being, social media is damaging our self-worth. Social media is a filter. In essence, you see what others allow you to see. Social media is a “perfected” version of people’s lives. It is not an accurate reflection of their daily struggles, it is not a reflection of their personal vices, it is not a reflection of their arguments with a loved one, it is not a reflection of their efforts to find the Lord, it is not a reflection of their disappointment of not finding a job or a potential spouse… yet we view these “perfect” posts and contemplate our own happiness.
Personally, I noticed that if I stay off of social media for an entire day I am happier than if I were being constantly updated by my social media enthusiasts. Step back and do not allow yourself to be fixed on the feeling that your life does not match up to those around you, because it does. EVERYONE has their own struggles, they just choose not to broadcast it to their friends on social media. A picture may say a thousand words, but keep in mind that photo displayed online was carefully posed so that it would portray a certain message. Let’s be real, the pictures we post on Facebook, Instagram and even Snapchat were not taken with the first snap of our camera. More than likely the photo was taken a few times until a desired look was achieved. Be careful not to compare your REAL life to the “perfected” lives of others on social media.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Hi Sassy Ladies,
Ah! I apologize for the lack of posting! With the craziness of completing the grad program, graduating, moving, and now avidly looking for a job that will begin my career, I seem to have neglected blogging a little. However, I do promise that new posts will be coming ASAP! :)
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You
(With the excitement of my younger sister getting her LSU acceptance letter, too excited to wait until her graduation in May, I wrote her a letter-- I thought I'd share it because the overall message is relatable to someone in college or starting college)
To my sweet sister,
As you are preparing to embark upon this incredible new chapter of your life I'd like to give you some words of wisdom from things I've learned during my four years in college.
1. Make as many new friends as possible and appreciate the fact that they all live SO CLOSE, because sooner or later hundreds of miles will separate you from each other. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be the best version of yourself, people who encourage you to aim for the stars, people who have high standards and people who make you want to be a better person. Nevertheless sometimes your friends will not always have your best interest in mind, so just remember that. You will not necessarily have the same friends from beginning to end, but do not burn bridges! You never know what the future holds.
2. Do not get drunk with people you do not trust [this is important] you do not want to be the next drunk internet meme or the profile of an episode of Law and Order: SVU. If someone offers to buy you a drink ALWAYS follow them to the bar and keep an eye on your drink. Don't let a friend who has been drinking get behind the wheel-- you never think it'll actually happen until it happens to someone you love. Although your perception of college is either parties, football games or exam week remember that these aren't the only subjects to focus on. Grab your ASICS and go for a run, I promise it is a better stress relief than grabbing the bottle of tequila or vodka-- the latter never ends well. Alcohol isn't always the answer, BUT sometimes wine makes life better!
3. Exam week will drain your young ambitious mind, but don't let it. All-nighters are kinda a thing in college.... sleeping in the library is sometimes acceptable and drinking a margarita while studying for finals is okay as long as you put it in another cup. ;) One important thing to do on your first day of classes is get to know your professors because like I said earlier- you never know what the future holds. They may possibly write you an amazing letter of recommendation-- whether that be for a full-time job or continued education. Go to them for help! If you ever fail get off you butt, no matter how bruised it may be and get back out there and TRY TRY AGAIN!
4. Do not let anything or anyone discourage you! I will always be there for you and even if I'm not, know that the Lord will be. If you feel lonely, if you question your goals/dreams/desires know that it's normal-- it means you are growing up! So, turn to the Lord for help and guidance during this time of your life. Even if you're super busy, go to mass-- MAKE time for God because he makes time for you every day. When life gets you down, pray! Place all of your fears/worries/frustrations in the hands of the Lord because He loves you more than anyone ever will! With that being said you should know and love God before trying to love anyone else.
5. Speaking of love... do not be in a rush to get a boyfriend. Go on plenty of dates and I mean plenty!! I must warn you, most of the college guys you will come in contact with have two things on their brain: sex and partying. Boys will tell you anything you want to hear... If they are sweet talkin' you during the first couple of days, I'm sure he has used those are lines on just about every other female. Please stay true to your morals and do not be naive. Boys will break your heart. It will feel like the end of the world, but I promise my dear sister it's not. Pick yourself back up and come back even stronger!
6. Just to let you know--you're going to make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. We're human and it happens so, don't beat yourself up over it instead grow from that experience and aim to be better. Do not let the fear of failing keep you from getting involved. Get as involved as you can-- this will help you make many new friends and create memories that you will remember forever. I mean you'll need good stories to tell your children and grandchildren!!
7. Lastly, keep an umbrella in your backpack at all times! Trust me on this one!!
I've dated my fair share of guys... I'm not saying I was in a serious relationship with all of them, but we went on dates, "talked" whatever you want to call it!
Ending something with someone you care about is always difficult. But the fact is, if y'all are not meant to be together, IT WILL NOT LAST! No matter how much you try, beg, plead... nope! Not gonna happen! Don't try to force something that isn't meant to be because you may be missing out on meeting your future spouse (yes they are out there somewhere). So, what do you do after the relationship is over? Well you higher your standards sweetie!!
So often people stay in relationships because they don't think they can do any better, but UM YESS YA CAN!! If you want an awesome man, you have to be an awesome woman! If you want men to respect you, you must first respect yourself.
What I've noticed (after reviewing the last few guys who I have cared for) they just keep getting more and more AWESOME! Not even kidding! So, now I sit here thinking... if all of these guys that I date are getting more amazing, can you imagine what my future husband will be like?! Holy cow! Woot wooooot!
FYI: If he doesn't have the qualities you are looking for, kick him to the curb darlin'! No use wasting your time!
After my last relationship I made a list. A "Qualities Future Husband MUST Have" list and if I meet someone with a quality that I admire and it's not on my list, I add it!! I'm 23 years old and I'm not gonna date someone just for the heck of it! And let me tell ya I am planning to stick by that list because I never want to settle, especially when it comes to marriage!! If you're someone who seems to settle in relationships, I would advice you to make a list of things you want in a future spouse, and always refer back to it when you meet someone new. :)
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
"So while all of your friends are out in the real world, making money, buying a new vehicle, buying a house... you are here because you just could not get enough school. You decided you wanted to do lots of research and write papers." *he smiles* --> What one of my professors said to us on the first day of class.
Grad school is one heck of a crazy ride. It can be stressful, exciting, intimidating, draining, overwhelming and actually sorta kinda fun. You will meet some wonderful people and learn to push yourself harder than you can even imagine! There are times when you will feel like everyone understands what's going on while you sit there like "ummmmmm whaaat?" You feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders when you actually find someone who feels the same way you do.
Let me walk you through grad school in bullet points...
1. Late night rant sessions become a thing.
-- You complain about not learning anything until one night, while your friend is talking about her relationship you blurt out a communication theory [UNCERTAINTY REDUCTION THEORY] that relates to her issue... and you think to yourself... "Holy cow! I am learning!... It's a miracle!"
2. First semester doubts.
-- "I'm not smart enough." "I have no idea what my professor was talking about for the past 3 hours." "I want to quit!" "Yep, I'm done." "Trophy wife?!" "Okay, I want to go to nursing school" ... *weighing the pros and cons of quitting and going to nursing school* "I mean I have time, it's only a few weeks into the semester."
3. "Yes, I drink a glass of wine before I go to sleep. No, I am not an alcoholic."
-- You find yourself sending pictures of your alcoholic choice of the night with the caption "I mean, why not?!"
4. Your family does not understand what you're going through.
-- They think they do, but they do not.
5. You find joy in sending memes and gifs about grad school to your friends in grad school.
-- You've realized that there are people out there that understand what you are going through! HALLELUJAH!!!
6. No social life.
-- Like it just does not exist.
7. Reading research articles.....
-- "Yes professor, I've read the article, and wrote a summary of the article..... no I have no idea what it was about."
8. Weekends?! Hahahahahahaha that's funny!
9. Choose a hobby.
-- On your first day of class your professor advises that you pick up a hobby, ya know, so you can keep your sanity... working out, running, sports, ironing, I mean whatever floats your boat.
10. Undergrad school spirit-- flaunt it!
-- Even though your friends may rag on you, you wear your alma mater gear on campus.
11. No money.
-- Not being able to afford new outfits = SUCH A STRUGGLE!!!! So you set goals... Finished your first two papers? PSH you totally deserve a new outfit! I mean, not like you'll have anyplace to where it (refer to number 6 & 8) but whatever!
12. Relationships can be hard to maintain.
-- There are just not enough hours in the day to talk to everyone AND do research. Don't take it personally.
-- Professors like you more and you have your own room in the library! SCORE!
14. GroupMe app.
-- Really does make everything better!
-- Just because you're in grad school does not mean you know what you want to do with the rest of your life.
16. Life long friends.
-- The people you meet in grad school are people that can relate to the struggle you are enduring. They understand your "grad school humor" and are there to hand you a beer (or vodka) after your first, second, third (ect..) research paper is completed. They are your support system and your cheerleaders.
Grad school will add some bumps to your roller coaster of a life, but it's not a bad thing, it will definitely keep you on your toes. Life has its ups and downs, but what matters most are the memories you make while on your roller coaster. So sit back and enjoy the ride, because if life wasn't crazy, it'd be boring. Have fun researching!
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Classy, sassy, but oh so sweet!