Juggling work, family, gym, friends, sleep and time for yourself is challenging. Add a romantic relationship into the equation and things get a little more hectic.
If you are currently not in a relationship my advice to you is to use this time to do something for yourself. Take time to reflect on things you’d like to improve on/accomplish such as: becoming better at your job, starting a new hobby, reading a book, attaining a flatter stomach, running a marathon, trying a new recipe—whatever it is, this is YOUR time to shine.
Before meeting my boyfriend, William, there was a long time that I spent single and I mean REALLY single. There were no guys that I spoke with on a daily basis, no one on the radar, and I had not been on a date for an entire year. Yes, you read that correctly. Up until 3 months to meeting William, it had been a year since I had gone on a date.
For the first time in my life it was just me.
There were definitely times I struggled being single because all of my friends were in serious relationships, about to get engaged, currently engaged, or married. However during those months of “me time” I learned a lot about myself, what I needed from a man and a relationship. To be honest, if it was not for that time alone I would not have been emotionally ready for a relationship.
Being single presented me with the opportunity to reflect on my past actions and tendencies, allowing me to examine who I was as an individual. Through that time of reflection I noticed that when things did not work out with a man I began to question where I went wrong. Questions like “What’s wrong with me,” “Am I not pretty enough” “Am I not good enough” consumed my mind, which in return triggered the spiral of self-blame. I took it personally, which made me absolutely miserable. All I could think about was “If I really was as great as everyone says I am, shouldn’t guys recognize that” “Why am I having such a difficult time finding someone who wants to be with me.” Ladies, this was my biggest mistake!! Let me tell you why… I did NOTHING wrong for those guys not to like me. It just wasn’t meant to be. I deserved better.
Honey, do not allow the inadequacies of a man lead you to question your self-worth. You are not the problem (I mean, unless you really did something wrong then you need to address that)!! Being single is not a bad thing. Do not allot yourself a specific period of time. Change does not happen in a day, or week. Change and improvement is a gradual process.
So enjoy the single phase of life, because before you know it you will meet someone who changes everything. Trust me!
be sassy. be sweet. be you.
There are many things I’ve learned from the dating world and one of them is this -- when a guy says he is not good enough for you, believe him and move on.
Let me tell you why…
Walking away is so much easier said than done. I can understand that when someone throws the “I’m not good enough for you” line at you it can leave you feeling kinda bummed out. It may even make you feel as if you should show him why you’re not too good for him. So let me repeat myself… if he tells you “you’re too good for me” or “I’m not good enough for you” believe him. He is not ready to meet your high expectations and that’s okay. He’s not for you.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Being weird is normal.
Today when I was at the gym [getting’ in that cardio session] I found myself laughing out loud a couple of times... yes, I may or may not do that quite often. I mean, I’ll just start laughing at something I see on my phone or at something I said earlier in the day, week, year... whatever! I think I’m hilarious. And I will admit, I am the person who goes to the card section of the store [the hallmark store is marvelous] to read the funny cards and then start laughing until I cry. Funny story: one time I was reading a really funny card and I couldn’t stop laughing so the man on the side of me stopped and asked what card I had because he wanted to read it too—he ended up buying the card lolz.
It’s okay to be a little weird, because if you’re not then you’re probably trying to hide a part of yourself you think will not be accepted. My sisters, being a little weird is what makes you stand out from everyone else. You have your own little weirdness that is like no one else’s weirdness, so embrace it!
What makes you “weird”?
A girl who tries to catch a man’s attention will only last as long as his attention span. AKA honey you’re going to be gone real quick. Have respect for yourself-- you can do this in the way you speak, behave, and dress.
Stop the gossip, backstabbing, drama, and vulgar language. Nothing good comes from those things and in the end it’s only a reflection of your own characteristics. Basically it makes you look bad.
If you’re over the age of 25 and get sloppy drunk every weekend what does that say about you? What does that say about your ambitions, career, and self-respect? If you cannot handle your alcohol I’m sure there are a lot more things you cannot handle. Grow up. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out and have a good time. Because let's be real, if you're over the age of 25, single, and have a full-time job sometimes wine (and vodka) is your best friend. What I am saying is don’t act like a college girl who just turned 21 on a Thursday night, doesn’t have a Friday morning class, and just broke up with her long-time boyfriend. There comes a time when you need to learn how to manage your alcohol and that time is after college.
Stop posting pictures with your boobs hanging out. You really think a man wants his mom to go to your Facebook page and see that? NO! You really think a man wants his woman all hanging out and showing the world her valuables? NO! Yeah, you’re going to get a whole bunch of likes, but girl please--- he’s thinking with something other than the head on top of his shoulders. And that attention won’t last.
How can you be THE woman who catches his heart? Now, I am not implying that the following list is the key to winning over a man’s heart, but rather it's the beginning of becoming a woman who is independent, irresistible, loving and respected.
Be sweet. It’s that simple.
Be genuine. It’s so rare to find a genuine person, be that rare gem.
Be honest. These days, people will tell you exactly what you want to hear in hopes for some sort of self-gain. STOP. Just be straight forward-- it’s a very valued quality.
Know when to let go. Some things are just not meant to be.
Move on. Holding on to the past will only inhibit you from enjoying the present.
Don’t get even. This goes along with “move on”, trying to get back at someone for something they did to you will only bring you down to their level. Be the bigger person and move on with your life.
You are capable of far more than you know. Just apply yourself and go after what you want.
Make something of yourself! Do not wait around for an opportunity to come your way. Get ahold of the reigns in your life and take charge. You control your outcome.
Love yourself. You will never truly be happy in a relationship if you do not love or value yourself first.
Do not rely on another individual for your own happiness because honestly, another person will not fulfill your needs. A HUMAN will never fulfill you. So to expect another person to make you happy is setting them up for failure. To put that much responsibility on to another person will weigh them down, and you don’t want that… right?
All in all, strive to be a woman of substance. If you're attracting the wrong kind of men and you are not being treated the way you deserve, take a step back to examine how you live your life. Are you looking for attention or are you looking to be respected? The choice is yours.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Hi ladies! So sorry I haven’t written much lately… over the past few months I’ve written 10+ blogs, but before finishing, I saved it and closed out of the document. It just didn’t feel right. Contemplating a message/subject has been difficult. However there has been something on my mind lately so I thought I’d write about it and hopefully some of you can relate.
The other morning I went to church and to be honest I was not fully invested. During church I caught myself daydreaming-- going in and out of listening and daydreaming… listening and daydreaming.
So awful, ugh I know!
Anyway the daydreams were silly and insignificant. They were about something that could happen in the future, but more than likely will never happen. Nonetheless I picked up on some very important key points of the priest’s message. He talked about being tuned in to the “now” which, let’s be honest, I was not doing. He also spoke a lot about trust and clarity.
Idk about you, but I often attempt to “figure out” what God is doing in my life and lately I’ve been praying for clarity. Some days my thoughts sound something like this: “If I could just understand why I am struggling in this aspect then life would be better” or “If I just understood why I haven’t met a great guy, then I could relax and just wait until HTB (husband to be) comes along.” I struggle with enjoying the single life. I have a difficult time trusting that God will provide me with the man that I’ve always dreamed of meeting. There are times where it’s easier to trust than others, but a lot of the time I struggle. The struggle goes something like this: It’s discouraging when you meet an attractive man only to find out he's a total womanizer. Especially considering that all of your friends are married/engaged/soon-to-be engaged while you’re stuck dealing with nonsense that should be kept in high school. Then you begin to question: Are there “normal” men that appreciate the sophistication of a woman? Are there “normal” men that have good intentions? Are there attractive men who are humble and are not focused on ‘getting with’ a bunch of women? Are there strong men who can walk away from an unhealthy relationship? Where are these men?!
Anyway the priest spoke about how trust doesn’t have to prove itself--you just do it--just trust. He said the last thing you should be praying for is clarity, instead you just need to trust. Trust that God is working wonders in your life. Trust that His plan is more amazing than your own. Stop worrying about what is to happen or what could happen, trust that it will happen and live in what currently is happening.
I felt as if God was jumping up and down, waving his arms trying to get my attention. After church I sat in my vehicle and continued to replay the priest’s message in my mind. I then decided to read over my morning devotional and as I turned the page the first sentence reads “Understanding will never bring you peace.” BOOM! There He goes again, trying to get my attention. God was talking to me in all kinds of ways that morning! The devotional goes on to talk about how as humans we try to figure things out in order to gain a sense of clarity in our lives. However, in this world we will always be faced with some sort of problem, as soon as we figure out the problem and gain a sense of clarity another is presented. So instead of searching for understanding and clarity, we should be seeking God. WOW!
Ya know what, it’s hard. It’s really really hard, but the Christian walk is not easy. Thankfully God is here to walk with us and guide us on this long and winding path. So remember, pray for trust instead of clarity. We will never be able to fully understand why God allows things to happen, but we must trust that He knows what He is doing :)
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Half of your friends are married and then the other half are in a serious relationship and you’re sitting there trying to figure out if you even like the new guy. During this time in your life, dating can be awkward and fun all at the same time. I mean does anyone really know what they’re doing?
I’ll be the first to admit, going on a date with someone new is very nerve racking… What if I don’t like him? What if I don’t know what to say? What if I start rambling about something stupid because I’m just so nervous? So many ‘what ifs,’ but honestly dating is not that bad. You either want to see him again or you don’t. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Always keep a mental note of what you want out of a relationship, a future, and a marriage then look for these things in the men you date. Notice the red flags early on to save you from the heart break later.
- Don’t believe everything he tells you. Keep your guard up until he gives you a reason to take it down.
- Be honest. Period.
- Trust your gut. Sometimes you cannot explain why you are or aren’t feeling a certain way. There is nothing more powerful than a woman’s intuition.
- Take the time to get to know that person and be genuinely interested.
- Be direct. There are so many people in this world that are flaky and are not sure about what they want. Don’t be one of those people. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It’ll be appreciated in the long run.
- Don’t compare him/her to people you’ve dated in the past. Get to know who they are as an individual, they deserve to be treated with respect.
- One of most important pieces of advice I will give is-- do not waste their time. We are all adults with busy lives, the last thing you want is someone dragging you along with no end goal in sight. Am I right? Be straight-forward in the beginning and they will be glad you didn’t lead them on.
Regardless of your situation it's important to remember to stay true to who YOU are as a person. Appreciate your single time while you can, because sooner or later that right person will come along and you’ll wonder how you ever did life without them.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You
The season of keeping our legs locked away in those comfy jeans has come and gone!
About a month ago I went down to Seaside, FL for a company trip and was dreading the thought of my bright white legs in a pair of shorts. I just knew the sun would reflect off of my legs and I would blind someone—it could have been a serious issue.
So my quest to find a solution began.
Tanning beds are extremely harmful for your skin, so that was a solid NO and I did not want to get a spray tan because it can be a bit costly (if you're aiming for a natural look). Luckily, a friend told me about leg make-up. Yes, you read it correctly, I said leg make-up. It sounds crazy, but hear me out… it’s awesome. Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs has seriously been such a lifesaver!!
Upon hearing of the Airbrush Legs, I was extremely hesitant so I did some research and found a girl online who absolutely swore by the product and its effectiveness. After reading her review I went down to Walmart and purchased this so called ‘miracle in a bottle.’
The season of shorts and tank tops is not a favorite of mine, because I’m very self-conscious about my legs (I have large pores). However, after using Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs I no longer dread wearing shorts because my legs look flawless! In fact, I’ve received many compliments on my legs.
It’s seriously so great!
Here are a few things you’re probably wondering right now:
No, it doesn’t rub off on your clothes
No, it doesn’t look fake or orange
No, it doesn't come off when you sweat
No, it will not come off if you get caught in the rain
Yes, it does wash off easily (just add soap and water)
Yes, it will leave your legs looking tan and flawless
Yes, it’s light enough to wear all day
Yes, you will love it
Does it fade or look patchy if you wear it for a long time? No, not from my experience. I will admit, I wore the same application for two days straight and it remained fresh and natural looking. Yeah… I didn’t feel like taking a shower, don’t judge me, we all have those days.
This wonderful miracle of a product can be purchased at any local drugstore for under $15.00. Awesome, right?
You can purchase Airbrush Legs in a spray or lotion. I purchased the lotion because it’s more convenient and easier to apply. It also comes in a few different shades, so make sure to get the color that compliments your natural skin tone.
Tip for application: give it time to dry before getting dressed.
I apply the lotion on my legs before I put on my make-up, that way my legs are dry by the time I get dressed. Disclaimer: when you are applying the lotion it may look a little orange, but just give it time to dry and the orange will disappear. I use a few dabs on my upper leg as well as my lower leg and then blend the excess onto the top of my foot and ankle. If you think you’ve put too much on the top of your foot (while it is still wet), add some regular lotion to tone it down.
Once dry, it will not budge unless washed off with soap and water. The staying power of this product is incredible and has made wearing shorts much more bearable!
Have you used Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs? If not, are you going to try it? Let me know what you think!
Hi Sassy Ladies!
Wherever you are in life, I want you to know that you are special. Life gets hectic and sometimes we don’t tell our loved ones how much we care. Sometimes we take our loved ones for granted and don’t show them the appreciation that they deserve.
Take time today to text that friend who you’ve been meaning to contact. Tell someone that you appreciate them.
It’s so easy to look at the lives of others and compare. We compare boyfriends/fiancés/the lack of a SO, careers, degrees, physical appearance, vehicles, etc. Stop comparing and start appreciating what you already have in your life.
I’m going to leave you with something I once read… “If you woke up tomorrow with everything you thanked God for today, what would you have?”
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
In life we have highs and lows. Some days are happier than others. Some days we feel as if we can conquer the world and other days we don’t want to get out of bed. I want you to save this letter and read it on the days when you just don’t feel worth it, because darling YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
I want to speak with the girl who has had her heart broken so many times that she believes every man will break her heart. The girl who searches for love through sex rather than quench her yearning for REAL love. The girl who longs to be desired, but is often left feeling empty and alone. I’m speaking to the girl who has settled because she does not believe she will find something better. The girl who doesn’t know how to stand up for herself and has been emotionally or physically hurt by a loved one.
My dear friend. Do you not know how beautiful you are? Do you not see how incredible you are and the value you add to this world? Yep that’s right, I’m talking to YOU!!
Take a look at the people who love you, they long for you to be treated with the respect that you wholeheartedly deserve.
Did you know that God placed YOU on this earth for a reason?! It was not because He felt like it, but because He has a special plan for YOU! Isn’t that so cool? He thought you were so awesome that He decided to make one of YOU.
The God who created sunsets and sunrises, the God who created puppies and dolphins, the God who created tulips, roses and oceans… decided He wanted one of YOU too!
Don’t allow anyone’s opinion of you to shape the way you feel about yourself. You're stronger than you think.
Don’t allow a selfish act of sex to replace your desire to be loved, and I mean truly loved. You are so much more than an object to be used for someone’s pleasure. Search for the person who looks at your heart rather than your body.
You are beautiful and you are a woman, and you know what? I think being a woman is pretty darn cool!
Do not become consumed by the world around you because this world that we live in is not forever.
There are so many greater joys to be known than the materialistic aspect of life that most individuals seem to idol.
Hang in there my friend and let me reiterate that you are not alone. Everyone battles with their own wounds and has their own struggles however, some people hide it better than others.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
For anyone who knows me personally, knows I've always had a crush on someone. Growing up, I was always "talking" to someone... or more than one person (I did nothing wrong).
A few months ago I began to reflect on why I had been so worried about who I will end up with. It's something that really does worry me. Who I marry is a big deal to me, always has and always will be. A few years ago I started to pray for my future husband (because let's be real- he is out there). I pray for him daily, even if it's just asking God to be with him as he goes throughout his day. I pray that God is working in both of our lives to mold us both into the people we need to be for each other.
It always hurts when you stop dating or "talking" to someone you care about. But it's also kind of exciting because it only means you’re getting closer to meeting/ being with your future husband.
I mean, as I look back on the past few guys that have been in my life, I've realized they just keep getting better and better. My standards get higher after every guy, so the qualities of the men have gotten better! … oh yeah AND they have gotten better looking ;) ha! So I'd like to think whoever I marry will be even more amazing and a total hottie!! WOOHOOO!!
I pray about marriage daily because I want to be married for the rest of my life. I feel that so many people neglect the reverence of marriage and it breaks my heart to see that negligence. Who I marry will (probably) be the biggest decision of my life. The way I see it is... If I don't like the job I have, I can always quit and find a job that better suits me. If I don't like my hair, I can always get it cut and colored to how I like it. Don't like my weight, then I'll just hit the gym. If I don't like my clothes, I'll just go to J. Crew and get cuter ones. duh! :)
But my future spouse is out there [and YOURS is too!!]. He is an actual person, living, breathing, and walking around living his life (crazy, huh?!). I cannot change him into who I want him to be, that wouldn't be fair to him. When I get married I cannot just quit the relationship because it was too difficult. NO, it is for life!
Once you begin a family there are children involved, it's so much more than a simple out.
So if you are like me, in this season of life where all of your friends are getting married and your biggest concern is who will be your “plus one,” just remember you are not alone. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the wedding madness and wonder if your time will ever come, but my suggestion to you is to pray. Pray for your future spouse and put your desire for marriage into the hands of the Lord. He has someone special for you. Trust Him. God has a plan, trust that whoever you are supposed to marry will be a wonderful man and everything will work out, but in God’s time not yours.
Be Sassy. Be Sweet. Be You.
Classy, sassy, but oh so sweet!